Got this in an email. Supposedly(though I doubt it) it was actually written to Senator Harkin form one of his constituents.
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service,
I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department
of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming
an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
$10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the
United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
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